The King Kilij's Bible (The Realistic Story About God and Some Other Stuff)
Page 1 On the first day, God shined his holy blacklight onto the world and as he witness the sticky white world he said this to as he made life anew, "Let there be life" And there was life. The first two beings to ever exist in the world known as Chatroom were known as Jery and Steven. They named all the creatures in the world, These were known as normies and some normies became... Good, While others were removed by the great banhammer that some of said normies gave it the all original name: Exterminatus While Jery and Steven were sitting near tree doing that that rhymes with tree and a word that ends with G. They saw a sword floating in front of them. When they looked upon it's awesomness it spoke of this: "Hey you two, Read this book. Trust me, You will be... enlightened" The book then appeared beside them causing them to look away and when they looked back the sword was gone. This book was known as "The 9521 stories of Love" with a tagline on the bottom of the book's cover that said "Main Feature: Under(Her)Tail page 6969" When they opened the book to that page number they unleashed a dark force that corrupted them and the normies causing them to speak in lunacy. "They are being derailed!" God proclaimed to the rectangular world as he smited them one by one. As they were being destroyed they were saying things like being sodomized by a skeleton or being hip to fornicate with bumblebees. And to think this started from one person in the chatroom. That awful sword... Page 2 After that apocalypse that started in the now closed chatroom some survived the onslaught and when they witnessed that all-powerful force in the state of anger. They knew they must follow God's rule or become nonexistent. Jery and Steven knew they must make more life, Life that would not spread such digust and aggression. They must bond in order for the new life to begin and bond they did. The normies watched this bonding and cheered, It was believed they were cheering for the new normie race to begin but who knows why they wanted to join such a sensual moment out in the open? When they reached their peak the white spread across the world but with the combined white of Jery and Steven it has made life instantaneously as new normies have risen from the all-covering white. A few days has passed since then and God reopened the chatroom so that he can start life on his own terms, But as he opened the chatroom he saw the world covered with life, Sprawling with beings that are no longer normies for they are... Abnormies. And the most stunning feature is that a religion was made in God's name. "The Bleach Drinkers Bizarre Cult" As they state. Believing in a spiritual source of power known as Stands and wielding powers that no other normie can control. In the next page it will describe the abnormies who made this cult and their positions for it is important to state for some reason the writer can't think. Stay reading for more on this tale of "The King Kilij's Bible". *cues ending theme* "Breathing slowly the mechanical heartbeat! Losing contact with the living! Almighty TV-plug, Hybrid empty brain! Don't see anything real in the game! "The tension is building constantly! No reason just a reflex I have, Driven by clockwork! I try to keep an eye open! And I realized I haven't closed my eyes in a long time!" Page 3 The Bleach Drinkers cult have leaders known as "Dong Popes" These Dong Popes can administer anyone to the cult and banish those who go against the rules using there stands as the enforcers. The Dong Popes are: Shrektastic and his stand Onion Ackbar: He is a being of righteousness, Ensuring the safety of chatroom and removing all threats that spam words of ill intent. His stand which is an enigmatic onion that screams words of unknown texts will allow him to create layers of interdimensional dominions which forces those who break the law to be "Deported" as Shrek says. Many have considered him to be evil due to his form and acts, But he has shown to be gentle and nice bleach drinker. Heather Wilson and her stand Wendyhop Xs: She is an authoritarian with the will and power to do anything in the name of the lord and sometimes for herself. While generous in ways she can show the true feelings that hide within her. Her stand which looks a lot like her but with an outfit that only a maid would wear aside from the odd yellow/red/black/cyan/white colors that cover her like swirls can manipulate two people into a forced relationships, Nothing was safe from her force as same gender relationships were made and only she could end the love for the effects are permanent till she says it's not. Liam Purdy and his stand PK Lambchop: Nothing was known about Liam or his stand. After the week he was made Dong Pope he suddenly disappeared. Some theorize that shrektastic cause this due to the time Liam had became Pope Dong despite having lower votes than Shrektastic 48 votes to become Pope Dong but shrek debunk this theory by saying this. "I done nothin" followed by a face a turtle beast would make. The popular opinion was that Liam was taken by unknown force that could potentially even more powerful than God himself. Cringey Username and his stand Touhoulian Voreyuer: A high priest that can make his stand which looks like some little girl in a kimono and wearing a large hat can devour anything and let it sit there for an unknown amount of time. The tale of Username was known as he died once and came back. He was considered a spooky ghost and now people fear him, He's now forever alone since the writer couldn't make this section longer. As of sometime the author does not remember (Man i suck at this) Cringey Username has ascended into a Dong Pope. Raise the dongers and bleach cocktails and Rejoice! Now for the rest of the cast that aren't Dong Popes. They have no real gender as the writer didn't knew what they were (Good job there you lousy weapon) so for now they're all guys till someone edits their character. Nintega64 and his stand Supplice Franklin: A bishop of the bleach drinkers and known to be the oldest member his big buff stand causes those great torment to whoever speaks his name even if you just guessed his name wrong which seems to be all the time. You get the worst treatment possible if you were to say that his name was Patrick. He was able to lift anything with his bare balls and can even suplex the world proclaiming that he was buff, But tragedy struck when heather cut the hair of Nintega and reduced to a weakling that couldn't even pick a atom off the ground. Pulpnonfiction and his stand Noinim Minion: A missionary to the cause of making normies into abnormies. His stand which is short and yellow can cause things to become short yellow creatures that speaks of bananas and bottoms. Not much is known about him due to his reclusive nature but it was known that he was more than just the guy who parted the seas but he was also the person that made America great as others say. Fujiwara No Komouno and his stand Megalokillyourself: Fujiwara is the battle nun of the cult, Opposing those who strayed from it and dealing with certain normies. His skeletal like stand can create loud noises which can mix it self into low and high frequencies meaning that all around her no one can hear except for the one person flailing about due to the high noises. Fujiwara was told by god to kill Cringey Username as it would make more better people in this generation, But just when Fujiwara was about to use the sounds from her stand God stopped this by saying: "You have been fooled, Brother!" Dirty Peasant and his stand Troublesome S.M.A.L.L.: The holy preacher who spreads the good word like Pulpnonfiction, Peasant is in charge of writing the stories to these people and could potentially rewrite this story if needed to. Troublesome S.M.A.L.L. is a stand that always changes due to it taking the shape of any and all stand and using the powers as well with the added effect of invisibility. He took down multiple goliaths as it was easy to talk them down with peaceful interrogations causing them to be banned by the Pope Dongs once they were calmed. 090Z and his stand Super Letter I: The prophet of the group who's cybernetic like stand can utilize a seemingly neverending arsenal of weapons and can switch them on the fly for whatever situation he is faced with. He battled some powerful storm deity but who cares about that? His stand is the only thing you need to know about. He can make freaking black holes that implode into multiple black holes and so on so forth, How can you ignore such a crucial factoid? Edwinoshopcawa and their stand Pets Robotics: When three people were destined for one another, They merge an become a hybrid with only the greatest of features from all of them. Their stand is a bunch of robotic birds that will turn any normie into an attractive avian creature. Edwin was the mother and the two petshops were the son and the son's friend who's grandfather was god. They looked at each other and then kissed. The rest is history. Savio Will and his stand Fantasma Aqua: Savio was newcomer of possibly 2 months ago, And he wishes to do whatever he can to spread the white gospel by building churches and other holy establishments. His stand has the odd ability to kill anything instantly by just simple touches, What is odd is that the stand is so small that you may not even notice it. He is observed carefully by dong popes. Fiv3Guy and his stand *BLANK SLATE, AWAITING IDEAS* Those are the current documents on most members in the Bleach Drinkers Bizzare Cult. There are more things to be said and written, Someone may even re-write this and it shall be so for the this bible is meant to be like the chatroom itself. Constantly changing itself to appeal for a god we all admire. Or someone could make a more better bible than this. G'BYA FOR NOW :D